Having goals is essential and necessary
Having goals is essential and necessary to get to where you want in life personally, romantically, and professionally. You need to have a an idea and vision of what you desire in a relationship, how you wish to feel each day, where you would like to travel in your free time, and what you want to be doing for the next 30 years of your life. All of these thoughts, feelings, and visions are important, most definitely.
However, as soon as your plan doesn't go as expected and a problem occurs - don't assume that something is wrong with you. It doesn't mean that you aren't worthy or deserving of your goal, relationship, or dream career. No, my love, it doesn't mean this at all. Actually, you not getting what you want when you want more so means that the Universe has a better plan for you and that you have more healing, learning, and experiencing to go through first.
In 2008 when the real estate crash happened, I lost everything. And I mean everything - my job, my boyfriend, condo, relationship with my family was in turmoil, I was barely able to make my car payments and ended up having to move in with my grandmother. Here I was, 24 years old, living a pretty successful life compared to others my age, and then bam, the market crashes, and all of my "successes" gone! Worst of all, I lost my sense of self-worth, self-confidence, and identity. I felt like a colossal failure, totally ashamed of myself, and utterly embarrassed about how my life had been unfolding. Talk about feeling worthless and not good enough. Shit, this was it. And it stung badly!
After feeling sorry and doubting myself for several months, I decided to create a vision board, which I had read about in a book. On my vision board, I had a nice practical car, a healthy toned fit athletic picture of a woman, and a woman dressed in nice business clothes with a carry laptop bag. Images of beautiful beaches, a lovely living room set up, a picture of a good looking man, and a stack of one hundred dollar bills. I'd look and stare at my vision board every night and every morning with my hand on my heart for 10 minutes, feeling what it would feel and be like to be living this lifestyle.
Eight months later, I discovered the opportunity of financial services and set up business right away! I started traveling all around the state with my laptop selling life insurance and making a lot of money. I also moved into my own place, was exercising daily, getting into shape, making new friends at work, and winning exotic Caribbean trips due to my fantastic work performance. Later, I bought myself the latest Toyota Camry model, which I paid for in cash. You could say I was living most of my "vision board" dream.
However, I soon discovered the guy and relationship I thought I so desperately wanted was only holding me back. So, I had to leave him. When I left him, I spent hardly any time single and hopped right into another relationship, only this time with a narcissist. I ended up getting into massive debt, gaining weight, losing all sense of trust in myself, and losing contact with friends.
Here's my post's point: the Universe or God always has a better plan for you. Always! It's just that most people are too caught up in trying to control, force, and manipulate their desired outcomes in life, which only ends up causing you more pain and suffering and for a lot longer than necessary. Too many of you are holding onto your past, repeating generational patterns, and running the same toxic, broken record repeatedly in your mind about how unworthy and unlovable you are whenever things don't go according to plan.
You have to be willing to learn a new way of "being" if you want to experience new lasting and sustainable results in all areas of your life. Make sense?
You'll need to learn how to heal from your past, forgive others and yourself. Befriend fear, invite curiosity in, create new daily productive habits, take action step-by-step on your goals, and set boundaries where seriously needed if you're to experience new outcomes in your personal, romantic, and professional life. The more you resist and fight this, the longer you'll remain in pain and suffering. You have to work on changing your habitual reactions in everyday life. And you must start living for your own approval, acceptance, love. NOT betraying yourself for others acceptance, approval, and love? See the BIG difference here?
Today, I am engaged to a wonderful man, own a beautiful home, have meaningful, loving friendships, and do purposeful work that I love because I was willing and committed to breaking old toxic patterns. I was ready and committed to doing my "deep inner healing work" for me, NOT because I wanted other peoples love and attention. You'll have to do the same too if you want a better life and future for yourself.
Listen, if you're not sure where to begin, I can help you! I've been teaching this "deep inner healing work" for the last five years in "A Confident Woman Unleashed," my 90-day signature program. It's for women who are ready and 100% committed to transforming their personal, romantic, and professional lives, and fast! It's 90 days, 12 weeks, three months working with me one-on-one. If you're ready to start your journey, I invite you to schedule in a free 30 minute Clarity Call https://bit.ly/ClarityCallwithNikki to learn your next steps.
Love,
Nikki